To a lover

"But I stem from my parents, I am linked to them just as I am my sisters by blood. In everyday life, and becasue I devote myself to my own goals, I don't feel it, but fundamentally this bond has more value for me than I know. Sometimes, too, I pursue it with my hatred; the sight of the conjugal bed, of the rumpled sheets, the night clothes carefully spread out, makes me want to vomit; it pulls all my insides out. it's as if i were not definitively born, as if i were always coming into the world out of that obscure life, in that obscure room; it's as if i had always to to search there for confirmation of myself, and as if i were, at least to a certain extent, indissolubly linked to these repulsive things. this still impedes my feet, which want to run; my feet are still stuck in the formless original soup of the birth-home."

Franz Kafka.